Message: Pseudo-relationships, pseudo-
boyfriends
daw"
Message: "Parang Kayo Pero Hindi" = = = "MU"
Message: Msg: Basta ako...im tired of it
na...ayoko na ng
MU..mahirap mag pretend na kayo pero hindi
kaya dun na ako sa sigurado ako ata alam kong
mahal ako....MASAYA NA KO NOW!!!

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others
call
it
MU or mutual understanding. Pseudo-
relationships.
Pseudo-boyfriends. Flings. Almost like a
relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where
the
persons involved are more than friends, but
not
quite lovers. Puwedeng may verbal
agreement,
puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have
admitted your feelings, possible ding hindi.
You
just let your gestures do the talking for you.
Walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi
kayo
mag-dyowa. Pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga
sinasabi
niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at
different
stages for different reasons. It can happen
after a
break-up. You still love each other, and you
want to
be with each other but you broke up for a
reason.
And for reasons that you alone know, ayaw
niyo na
muna magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong
pareho kayong nakikiramdam. Possible din na
ayaw niyo munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-
kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang.

But then I learned that although it was only a
pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real.
And
usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi
ang
lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not
really a relationship, you can't demand
commitment from your partner. Ano ba kayo?
May
K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You
will
always be uncertain about your role in his life.
You
can't expect him to be always there with you.
And
if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just
have to
keep it to yourself. Ano ka ba niya para
magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with
him?
You can't be sure if he feels the same way.
Baka
nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya.
Even
if
you are dying to tell him you love him, you
can't.
Because you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka
mapahiya ka lang. This stage will always make
you wonder where you are in the relationship.
Or if
there is a relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too
much?
What if you have invested all your emotions
and
this man hasn't? What if you remain faithful to
him,
not entertaining other guys, only to find out that
he
is seeing other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it
is
fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or
when
one of you gets cold, then that would be the
end of
it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo
alam
kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-
relationship.
Wala kang pinanghahawakan. Kasi sa pseudo-
relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you
and
me," hindi "us."

Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set
up
for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself
in
the
process.

Pero puwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh.
Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang
future
and just enjoy the feeling, without thinking of
the
consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt
yourself in the process, kailangan mo mamili.
You
can be happy and live the moment without
worrying
what would happen next. Or you can stop
settling
with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real
thing.

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung
magpapasaya
sa iyo, gawin mo. Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo
sa
consequence. Dahil ang "parang kayo pero
hindi"
stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually,
hanggang doon lang siya... almost, but not
quite.

D'ba carlo n mon