Gotta Watch the Fish Eat
Message: I did something very daring today. I said, "No."
I was at a meeting where I was asked to serve on
a committee that would require numerous Thursday
evening meetings. And I said, "No."
I declined politely, even graciously, but it
wasn't enough. The others just looked at me,
waiting. Three long seconds, four, five.
Waiting, waiting for my important excuse. They
couldn't move on until I had explained my answer.
"You see," I continued, "I really want to be
home to tuck the kids in bed at night." Most of
the others around the table nodded in
understanding. "Well," the chairperson offered,
"we can make sure we're done by eight-thirty, so
you can be home in time to tuck the kids in." The
others murmured in affirmation, and turned back to
me, expectantly, waiting for my response.
"Well," I explained, "that's right when we
are watching the fish eat." The others weren't
impressed. "You see," I continued, "on Thursdays,
after I've quizzed the children for Friday's
spelling tests, we watch the fish. It's just an
important time in our family's week. It seems to
set the tone for the next day, and when I'm gone
on Thursday nights, Fridays just don't go as
well." My words sounded rather weak and almost
silly as they tumbled out. No one said, "Oh, of
course, Cheryl, we understand!" They were still
waiting.
Now, I could have added, "But, you see, I've
got a book manuscript due to the publisher in two
months that I have got to work on." That would
have been sufficiently important. After all,
that's my career. They would have nodded in
understanding, and quickly moved on. But the
truth is, I'm not writing between 7:30 and 8:30
p.m. on Thursday evenings. I'm being Mom. I'm
reviewing spelling words for Friday's tests. I'm
checking math answers. I'm making sure permission
notes are signed, book reports are written and
weekly assignments completed. And when school
work is done, and the children have brushed their
teeth and gotten into their PJs, the family
gathers on the couch in front of the aquarium to
watch the fish eat. We feed the fish every night,
of course. But on Thursdays we make an effort to
sit together as a family and watch them. This is
when I heard about Blake's plans to be a
paleontologist. It's when I learned about how
Bryce handled the bully on the playground. This
is when Sarah Jean explained why she doesn't want
to wear bows in her hair anymore.
The committee members were still looking at
me. Feeling guilty, I almost changed my mind to
say, "Okay, I'll do it." But I didn't. Because
my reason for saying no is important. On Thursday
evenings, we watch the fish eat.

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